Shmi’at Ha’ozen: Active Listening

I semi-recently witnessed an interaction between two students regarding the sharing of a shovel.  Both students, Z and B, were in vehement agreement that they wanted a turn more than the other, but through discussion, came to an agreed length and order of turns.  As Z outlined her plans for the time she would need with the shovel, B paid close attention until her turn came to chime in, at which point Z returned the attentiveness in kind.

In interacting with children, adults, or anywhere in between, the ability to listen deeply is often 
more valuable than the ability to speak profoundly.  The Jewish value of Shmi’at Ha’ozen, or 
attentiveness, teaches that listening goes beyond the physical aspect of a reverberating eardrum. To truly listen involves mental, emotional, and physical engagement, without focusing only on 
what you’ll say next.

During Z’s turn with the shovel, B came once to ask how much time had passed, and before I 
could answer, Z approached to forfeit the remainder of her turn and offer B the shovel.  Despite being engaged in her own play, Z heard and recognized her friend’s desire, and how she could help 
fulfill it.

A Jewish proverb states, “No one is as deaf as the man who will not listen.”  In Z and B’s 
interaction, we see the value of not only listening with one’s ears, but choosing to listen with one’s mind as well.  What could have been an argument became a discussion, and where there could have been conflict, there was peace. Shmi’at Ha’ozen teaches us that the key to communication is not so much to speak as it is to have open ears and an open mind.  Whether at work, at home, or during a conversation on sharing a shovel in a sandbox, you never know what you can learn from 
the people around you.